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Posted on April 7, 2023

The Butthole Tickling Bandit Apprehended! We can Finally Unclench.

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The Niles Butthole Tickling Bandit has been causing quite a stir in the local community. This 23-year-old woman has been breaking into men's homes and tickling their buttholes before making a hasty exit.

At first, the police thought the Niles Butthole Tickling Bandit was homeless due to the ragged clothing they had seen her wearing on security footage. But when they caught up with her, they were surprised to find her dressed in head-to-toe designer clothing, including a bright red tracksuit from the high-end fashion brand Versace.

When questioned by the police, the Niles Butthole Tickling Bandit claimed that she targeted men who she believed needed to "loosen up a bit." Her unconventional approach to stress relief may not have been appreciated by her victims, but it certainly brought some levity to the otherwise mundane world of burglary.