Posted on May 19, 2025

Local Man’s Breath Causes Scene at Applebee’s

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Elkhart, IN — A routine Monday night at the Applebee’s on Rieth Boulevard took a sharp turn when Carl, 48, allegedly opened his mouth and released what multiple witnesses are describing as “a scent so powerful, it could be bottled and used for crowd control.”

“It wasn’t like bad breath,” said server Jenna L. “It was like if a wet sock got into a fight with a gas station bathroom and lost.”

The evening started quietly enough. Carl, who arrived solo in basketball shorts and Crocs with socks, ordered the all-you-can-eat wings and a sweet tea, heavy on the sweet. Everything was normal—until he leaned over to ask the bartender if ranch refills were free.

“That’s when the room shifted,” said bartender Marcus. “I felt a heatwave and my eyes started watering. At first, I thought maybe the fryers caught fire. Then I realized it was coming from his mouth.”

A group of high schoolers at a nearby booth reportedly screamed and fled after Carl laughed out loud. One girl lost a false eyelash. A couple celebrating their anniversary asked to be reseated—outside.

Management quickly initiated their emergency ventilation protocol, typically reserved for burnt queso incidents. Ceiling fans were turned to maximum speed, windows were opened, and several patrons were offered mints just for being in proximity.

“We almost rolled out the mop bucket,” said shift lead Heather. “It was like the breath had weight to it. It hit you in the chest.”

A birthday party was moved to the parking lot after the mother of the birthday girl claimed the smell turned her buttercream cake into a “hazmat situation.” A toddler in a booster seat allegedly began dry heaving.

According to police dispatch records, someone called 911 claiming there was a freon leak or “possibly a haunted mop closet.” Emergency crews arrived in under six minutes and cleared the building “just to be safe.”

Carl, meanwhile, stayed calm. Witnesses say he continued eating wings and even asked for a side of blue cheese. “It happens,” he shrugged. “People always overreact.”

Turns out, this isn’t Carl’s first public disruption.

“He got banned from the Meijer on Cassopolis,” said a woman who asked not to be named. “He exhaled by the rotisserie chickens and three of them split open. One guy fainted.”

Another witness claimed Carl once ruined a church potluck by offering to “say grace.”

“He opened his mouth and I saw the punch curdle,” she added.

While speculation ran wild on Facebook, with some suggesting demonic possession, friends of Carl say he’s a nice guy who just “prefers a more natural oral routine.”

“Carl says brushing is ‘Big Dental propaganda,’” said former coworker Jeremy. “He swears by chewing parsley and watching Joe Rogan.”

A brief Facebook thread in the local Elkhart group had users debating whether Carl’s breath could actually qualify as a biological weapon.

“I’m not saying it’s a war crime,” wrote one commenter, “but I wouldn’t be surprised if NATO gets involved.”

Another user posted, “Man made my eyes water through my screen. I thought my phone had a scratch-n-sniff feature.”

There’s also speculation that Carl’s infamous halitosis might be affecting the local economy.

“We had to shut down the salad bar for an hour,” said a restaurant manager who wished to remain anonymous. “Lettuce wilts in his presence.”

Some say Carl’s breath has its own gravitational pull. One local claims her glasses fogged up when he spoke near her car—while the windows were rolled up.

Even his dog has been spotted retreating from shared couch time. “You know it’s bad when a golden retriever chooses solitude,” said Carl’s neighbor.

Reports are now surfacing that Carl was asked to leave a nearby bowling alley last month after a fellow player accused him of “softening the lane wax” every time he turned to talk.

“He was just being friendly,” said league captain Pete J. “But pins started falling before the ball even hit them. That’s how we knew.”

At a community theater event last week, Carl attended a local musical and sat in the front row. Several cast members reportedly missed their cues due to what one called “a breath-based stage fog.” One actress claims she forgot her solo entirely after Carl let out a yawn during a quiet moment.

“I thought it was a smoke machine malfunction,” she said. “Then I realized no one else smelled it but me.”

Despite it all, Carl remains unfazed. “I’m not hurting anybody,” he told a local reporter. “They’re just not used to real air.”

As of press time, Carl was reportedly seen entering the Subway on Benham Avenue. Employees activated the air freshener system and pretended the soda machine was broken to buy time.

One worker said simply, “We’ve been through COVID. We can survive Carl.”

Meanwhile, the Applebee’s is still airing out. A temporary banner now reads: “Closed for Deep Breathing Recovery.”

In unrelated news, a local candle shop reports record sales of eucalyptus and industrial lemon scents. No word yet on whether Carl plans to return—Applebee’s management now keeps a jar of clothespins labeled 'Nose Clips — Carl Protocol' next to the tip jar, just in case he ever comes back.

As for Carl, he insists he’ll be back. “They got good wings,” he said. “And I’ve been working on some new breath techniques. I call one the ‘dragon fog.’ You’ll see.”